Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
