It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
