Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
All the doctor said was why
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
