Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
