HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
