Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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