Can i not drive my cunt home
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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