I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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