Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
