Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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