I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
