My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
