But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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