I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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