In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
it was like his penis was on wheels.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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