I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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