PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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