Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
