I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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