Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
