lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
