Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
