he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
