I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
