i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
