omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
