why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
