If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
