I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
