also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
There r osticjed everywhere
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
