Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
