garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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