i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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