420 ftw
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
