I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
