Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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