We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
