WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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