You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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