U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
