I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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