Please, let me fuck your mom
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
