Ambien. No doubt about it.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
