Well douche your snatch and let's go!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Randomize