I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
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