Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
