Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
