nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
