Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
