Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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