My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
