i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
it was like eating out sand paper
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
