it hurts more in the daytime
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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