good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
