she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
