So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
