I just cut my nipple shaving
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize