Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
