if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
