Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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