i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I love how my cats smell like pot.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize