this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
