oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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