Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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