I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
