Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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