she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
