so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
